totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
