Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
