He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
