Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
