you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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