I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
