So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
