That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
