dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
