Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
