Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
