She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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