I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
