Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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