They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
