More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
