You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
