He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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