Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just pee around me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Randomize
