well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
