I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
