Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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