I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
