is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
