so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
