Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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