why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
