Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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