my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
