Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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