I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
