Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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