I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
