the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
