You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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