Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
