you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
