I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
