I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bring me that man meat
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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