Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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