It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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