So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
