The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
