You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
