just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
