I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
