for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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