ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
