No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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