did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
