I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
