I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
