Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
